"I was well aware that I made a choice - to remain with him, and so never harboured deep resentment from that aspect, like I was tricked, trapped, or cajoled."
That's, well I have a phrase for it, I call it the double-fuck. .. enough said?
Of course he was tricked, trapped and cajoled, as he says earlier up the page, neatly parcelling it as part of the human lot. And he was heavily manipulated. But now he knows, it's his choice to stay? Doesn't change a thing about what's happened in the past and at that point in time, it's ongoing.
If you've been knee-capped sometimes you don't have a lot of choice about where you stay. But, much as you can stuff it down to an extent, you don't have any choice in how you feel about it.
As Shakespeare put it, if you prick me do I not bleed?
Fortunately even feelings like resentment can be forces that result in good changes.
