Thank you "anon" for standing up to him, for recognising where you couldn't compromise and stepping away. If the forum had been going then I may never even have joined the cult rat race.
I like that you recognised the fact that you had a choice. I didn't really, not until recently. I was younger and that may have had something to do with the fact that I absorbed the brainwashing that went- Rawat and his Lila and Agia is in control, that I didn't have a choice, unless it was to surrender.
I can imagine that having learned that you had free will and going through a process of choosing and re-choosing Rawat.... until you didn't, would have left you with less resentment, less to forgive in him, than someone like me who occasionally feels that my free will muscle might be a little underdeveloped.
But the pointing to why doesn't solve the how of exercising that muscle or help me
exploring ways of interacting with my world.
We all have the respective chagrin, the acknowledgement of causing suffering in peoples lives, to various degrees at different times. And Thank God! Hurray for the fact that we have had to process this, to journal, to lean on the wisdom of moral people, to re-evaluate our actions in the clear light of day. without that we would be just like him. I can't even imagine. Something is fundamentally wrong with his wiring
