I really had quite the epiphany regarding the vacated commitment to a purpose that I had for so many years dedicated myself to the quest of self awareness. 

This search for answers is what lead me to the cult and Rawat so many years ago. 

I am sure that many of us came to the cult and the guru for self realization and desire to fulfill a spiritual purpose quest. 

I had quit the cult and the Guru but I had not entirely abandoned the notion that there were more answers to the universal questions left in life that I still wanted to understand.

When something that once made perfect sense doesn't add up anymore it rattles every molecule in your being to the core. 

Which is where I was in that post traumatic stress moment in time when I decided to rely on my own inner resources for strength and answers.

I was transformed by my quest, I received a certain peace and clarity for myself. I put a stop to the pain and drama and found my own place of contentment. 

I took back the reins of my life that I had surrendered and emerged a much wiser and happier person on the other side of this experience. 

I accepted responsibility for myself and my identity outside of any religion, dogma, guru or spiritual organization.  

I became a kinder person, I walked the walk and stayed true to my self and kept my word with others I helped whenever I could. 

I have remained sober since 1983 now 34 years continuous recovery. 

I didn't rot away like the fateful decaying vegetable that Rawat assured, I flourished in business and became very successful.

I got out of peoples face with my self righteous judgmental beliefs, rants and predictions.    

I beat liver cancer 10 years ago and received a liver transplant got a rare second chance at life. 

I know now that you can't force change on others, but you can tell your story and maybe somehow, someone will hear something that wakes them up and helps them move forward.

This forum is an incredible resource that has helped many of us whom have found our way out because of the people who shared their stories here.

I am deeply indebted and grateful to all of you