|The last time...ever I saw his face|
|Re: 10 years out..... -- jasper||Top of thread||Post Reply||Forum|
Jasper, thank you for your continued posts. Your observations of Guru Ji "in private" have been priceless. He seems like a caricature of himself though, in the public realm. Always strutting about proving his immeasurable worth and value to the unsuspecting initiate.
For all intents, the last time I saw him was in 2010. I brought a client to see him, and she remarked afterwards that "Your Guru is quite a showman". He was nothing more than a quirky entertainer and new age schmoozer. Always keeping his exposure to such a narrow scope while controlling the presentation by a carefully scripted appeal to the "better self" (subliminal pandering).
It was shortly after that show (program) that I bailed. And yes it took some mental and emotional gymnastics to land on my feet.
Funny I came to similar junctures many times in my early years but could never follow through....to practically expunge his influence from my life. I guess it took a personal melt down to finally seal the deal.
I remember one time back in the heady days of 1976, the year of the Great Ashram Mutiny. I had been living the monastic life for three years and one day I went up to my superiors and announced that
" I was going on vacation ". It was such an odd pronouncement that they couldn't quite find a reason to protest and said "ok, where are you going ?"
One of my ashram roommates had a brother, who was a wild back-to-nature homesteader. He lived in a 200 year old cabin in the mountains of North Carolina with no electricity or indoor privy. This seemed like a perfect get-away from the travails of that era, and (along with a community premie and his wheels) within a week the whole plan was hatched and off we went.
We met Ray, a soft spoken country soul who hunted ginseng at night, plowed his field with a draft horse, had no use for eastern spirituality, fed cigarettes to his goats, and ran piping to the spring up the hill for gravity water. We woke every morning to the absolute quiet of the wilderness, did some chores to help around, and then set off to explore the hills.
Every afternoon I would wander down to a nearby meadow that we called the Green Field. I would sit and meditate for hours...until the grasses and the buzzing insects seemed like distant trifles. It was sublime and peaceful and nourishing and beautiful.
As the time went by, we forgot about everything chaotic and demanding back in DC, and fell into a rhythm of simple days and fun evenings talking around candles and camp fires. We consumed no inebriants so this was not an "enhanced escapade" of any sorts.
At the end of my "vacation" I returned to my ashram and community and re-adopted the codes, conduct and mannerisms of premie life.....for about five days.
Then I went back up to said superiors and announced that "I was Moving Out Of The Ashram". I had been liberated and freed of the contrived conventions of our quack religion and was opening up a new chapter in my life.
Here's the odd twist. Several years later I moved Back into the ashram.... and began the long descent into the quagmire of something...I never knew exactly what. Yes I got closer to him, yes I got to be a part of bigger pond, yes the people around him seemed weird, and he... he was nothing more than aloof.
All came crashing down somewhere around 1981 (for me) and off I went never to really comprehend what it all meant, just a shadow practice and annual pilgrimage to programs...hmm very strange.
So it took another 35 years to complete the visionary emancipation that seemed so evident in the mountains of North Carolina. Now I have crossed my personal Rubicon and I am happier for it. I have never looked back.
I am pleased to report that the grasses still wave to and fro, the insects still buzz in busy reverie. And the Green Field is now in my own back yard. Nothing was really lost was it ?
Thanks to all who post here.
Modified by Manincar at Tue, Apr 18, 2017, 20:46:16
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