Re: clingable absolutes
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lesley ®

04/04/2017, 22:35:44
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"This thread strikes me as all about reconnecting to everything lost, sacrificed and suppressed while I was a premie."

yes it is, isn't it.    

I remember hearing this man talking on the abc radio in the studio one day.  years ago now this is, when we were in the thick of exiting.  What caught my attention is him saying if you think you're crazy for having a conversation in your head well you're not.  Everybody does.  

They have those nice colourful images of the brain where they can see how first one side then the other side lights up.  Apparently the faster it is the better your coordination and the slower it is the longer the thought you can sustain.

But when God talks back then that's an added something to talking to yourself.  It's talking to someone else.  Are you sure you know you planted the words that come back to you? 

One of those phenomena that commonly occurs is oh well one incident was my mum was out in the centre of London having dinner with the in-laws when she got up from the table and said she had to get back home, I needed her.  And indeed I had been knocked down by a speeding car outside the house.  It must have taken a lot of guts to act on that.  A lot.  Whereas these days if you live round here and you got up from dinner saying you had to leave, your child needed you, they'd just think that was normal behaviour.

It's not that it's a new phenomenon, maybe after the war people wanted not to listen for a while.  God, we've been a lucky generation.

anyway so there we are as premies, believing that if we can't have a conversation in our head with Rawat we are substandard premies.  
And yet really the stuff I have had the hardest time with is the memories of the times when i thought I did have a conversation.  In my imagination over time he morphed out of the 'Maharaji' I believed him to be into a capricious monster.  Maybe I really was listening to him!  !!  

Mainly, I've tended to think it was an intuitive warning - all the stuff i must have subconsciously picked up about Rawat coming up in my imagination.
But really the stuff that happens.  And it's always with hindsight you go oh I should have listened to my intuition.  I don't know exactly what to think these days.

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