Thank you for that. After exiting the cult nearly ten years ago, I still need to be reminded that "we weren't wrong in the way se were." In recent posts, I've idealized independence, surely as it relates to reclaiming it from the grips of Rawat and the cult. But it's not as if I ever was a Hollywood depiction of a rugged, independent, strong, self-sufficient hero type in the first place.
It reminded me of a significant rationalization for moving into the ashram: what do I have to lose? It's not as if I had much else going for me at the time.
(Yes, I'm fully aware that that feeds an excuse Rawat tried to pull and even more aware of how shamelessly baseless that is as an excuse!)
And that reminded me of a deep pang of empathy I felt the other day as I was watching a show about religion. First, a knee jerk ugly (for lack of a better word) part of me mocked the followers. But then, observing their faces, it occurred to me that that may be their only source of hope and impetus for carrying on, especially in tragically and horrifically war torn parts of the world that even my own empathy cannot... struggling for a word... touch.
What to make of all that? I don't know, and perhaps that's one of the most rewarding feelings I'm left with in my post "Knowledge" life. Indeed, "we weren't wrong in the way we were," and leaving Knowledge takes us right back to that place.
What to make of all that (part II): why do I still keep searching for absolutes to cling to?