Oh Great Tarvuist,
What a beautiful and
provocative experience you have described!
I don’t have any answers of course, but will put out a few, brief observations.
This mountaintop experience
of yours occurred in the context of the surroundings driving your
semantics. The power of what you
experienced evoked the words “God”, Truth” and such, which is only natural
given our Judeo-Christian upbringing and our transference of this mythology onto
the Indiologic spiritual practice / tradition-lite as put forth by our little Indian
Also, NOTHING occurs in
consciousness that does not simultaneously occur as physical events in the
body/mind, and so your neural matrix certainly was altered and implicated as
These satori’s, although apparently
unsustainable, are certainly gorgeous and to be appreciated in my opinion. The inner big light phenomenon is
breathtaking, whatever the fuck is going on.
So what are these
experiences, if one strips away the embellishment of interpretation?
Personally, I have become
pretty OK with not having to intellectually understand this interesting world, not
that I don’t think about it and not that theories don’t arise.
But I will say that what
interests me most about these types of experiences are the intrinsic ‘feelings’ involved, and especially how these feelings can inform what I am and how I behave as I move through
the world (hopefully towards a more integrated fashion).
There is a whole other
conversation (probably better over beers) about how my own ‘practice’ has morphed
into my absorption with the ‘feeling world’ within my skinbag, as opposed to a ‘conceptual
world’. My brain’s preoccupation with
thinking, and it’s capability to come up with cool stuff ‘on its own’ has made
it easier to just ‘feel’. The brain seems
to do its job reasonably well, great organ to have!
But at the end of the
day, seems like we all just want to feel good (in a sustainable manner), and at the pinnacle of good feelings
is love. I’ve not yet found a downside
to benevolent love, with all of its side effects like kindness, compassion, occasional
bliss, empathy and such. If you could
tunnel back that moment, what did you feel, absent all of the other rigmarole?
world we are part of.