yes, me too Genny. As I realised I'd been caught up in a cult I started to view it like a sieve - it had picked up a lot of people like me. But it was only in exiting that I met up with the ones that were really a lot like me.
Up the end of a rainforest valley, sunk deep into the confusion of being in a cult and even more confusion from being unwittingly married all my adult life to a closeted gay man, with no children to keep my head above water, I had begun to feel like I was living in a dungeon.
I was in my early 40s and waking up at 3am, instead of trying to sleep more I'd get up and go to my computer and write and finally started to get my thoughts together again, my own little world I loved it and got to the point I was disappointed if I slept in and didn't get that few hours of peaceful quiet.
I had friends and family I emailed with but it was when I found this forum that a window opened in my dungeon wall, high up and dusty but real daylight now entered the little nest I'd made on the floor. and it reconnected me to my past.
No slipping out the back or hopping on a bus for you!