Thanks everyone, so much!

2016, was especially brutal for me too...seems so for many people I know.  Not without fleeting glimpses of beauty, but difficult...and I hope 2017...though just a number to me , is better to us all!

I just came across one of my stories that I thought I'd share...it's raw and unedited still like some of my others, but a good one...it helps me remember that I've certainly been through worse, and the timing is perfect...a different kind of Christmas story.  A couple warnings...

-It's long...read it when you get bored

-Nothing to do with the guru...but everything to do with the lingering damages from my father's suicide

-Hope the "C" word doesn't bother you...I way over used it, but for good reason

-Many casual references to pieces that would have been read already in the book, but I don't think they ruin anything...I'm always happy to answer any questions...one thing you definitely need though is this;

This is realized throughout several pieces, I can't just include all of them so I'll try to be quick .  In 'the story of Ellen' to follow, I say something about telling her everything and this is what I mean...

RE battle with ghosts of the past:  every year in October, the anniversary of the suicide, the way I'll be affected is completely unpredictable.  The full spectrum...beautifully at peace to complete loss of shit.  Some years I can cope privately, and some I need to clue others in...bosses and such...so they can maybe understand a little why I'm not myself...for just a minute...it will pass and please forgive me if you can...

RE my strange relationship with Father Time and the little memory that came out of hiding:  All this happened that year, 2008, as I was coping with the anniversary...and picking at old wounds to encourage new levels of healing.  

So...when I had the precognition of Dad's death in 1981, I was at school...a new school...I started Junior High in a new suburb and didn't have any of my elementary schoolmates, was in the process of making new friends and fitting in.  I thought I remembered everything about that day...the way the Teacher made me cry, the way I lied (so I thought) when the kids asked what was wrong.  The only thing I could think of to say that would match my severe emotional distress, was that my dad had just died.  It just blurted out.  I was under so much stress about how I was going to fix my lie...and ended up feeling relieved for the funeral that took care of it for me. 

Years later, as I was dissecting my psychic awakening...I came to realize that not only was I a 12 year old girl about to have her first period...a hormonal surge that can spark psychic ability...but I was also a very sheltered and loved little girl who knew nothing about humiliation.  I remembered that the teacher humiliated me in front of class, and that I didn't recognize the feeling, so that I didn't know how to tell the kids why I was so upset after class...I held it in all through class and it came pouring out right after, and then "the lie" happened.

So in 2008 when the anniversary was particularly brutal I found the need to re visit all the whys...yet again.  This would be the year that I would remember what the teacher said to spark it all.  This would be the year...27 years later...that I finally understood why I just couldn't be on time in October.  I was late to class that day...7th grade algebra...new girl trying so hard to make friends and be liked...about to take a dive into the depths of hell...couldn't have been more than a minute or two, and she berated the hell out of me...made an example out of me for all to see and follow.  And I finally understood my wildly inappropriate anxiety over being late, and why I would eventually need to create a life where being on time could rarely matter.

So as you'll see...I was incredibly forthcoming with Ellen...and it happened anyway.

Enjoy my friends...it's dark, but good

*******

Toast For Christmas Dinner

"It is impossible not to love someone who makes toast for you".

Nigel Slater

Now we all know that I'm no good Christian.  Many years I despise what Christmas has become as far as forced joy and commercialism go.  It's so far apart from what it was originally contrived to be, I sometimes have a hard time joining in.  I prefer to spread love and joy and heartfelt gifts all year long, and align with Winter Solstice for what it's true purpose is...inner journeys.  Death of winter, and the eventual re birth of spring.  We need to be dormant and quiet for a season, for a reason.  That being said, I'm not a total Humbug.  Christmas is for everyone especially little ones, and inner little ones.  I have the sweetest decorations I've ever seen, and love love love them in my good years.  I try very hard not to be selfish in my bad years and will participate for the joy of others, but really, I prefer to work.  Whether it was behind a bar, renting skis, or taking care of emergencies, I always had a job where Christmas was a busy working day.  Fine with me.

One year for Christmas, instead of forced joy, I got forced spiritual reconciliation.  Brutal.  I knew I wasn't quite on the right path, but I was getting there.  I was in the "Little by little..." phase of my Life Spiral, on the verge of threefold contentment, on the verge of the "ripping away".  I knew The Seven Sisters were itching to get to work, and thought I was creating the right circumstance to make that happen.  Again, thinking I could and should maintain both worlds, I'd need a job for bill paying, and time and energy to write.  My job in the ER was perfect, so I thought.  I really did love it...all of it.  The people, the hours, the positive societal contribution, all of it.  And the love was mutual.  They loved me, my efficiency, my high tolerance of weirdness, my handling of stress and chaos...all of it.  Perfect, except for one thing.  I was still on the wrong path and I didn't know just how wrong.  It would take a catastrophe to open my eyes...again.

I call it "The Great Christmas Takedown of 2008".  Allow me to introduce you to the players...the Catholic Hospital Cunts of St. Joe's ER...and the 75 plus Angel Souls that make up the rest of the Emergency Room Staff.  (Knowing me, you might assume that "catholic hospital cunts" is a sarcastic jab at religion...but nothing is farther from the truth...it's more like an oxymoron and a genuine stab at the women involved).

It's hard to say or even think anything bad about a nurse.  The men and women who take on that role are Saints.  Period.  Short of egregious crimes against human rights, you want to let them have any flaw they want...you accept it and tolerate it and excuse it every time because of WHAT THEY DO.  As a whole, it's an awe inspiring bunch.  But, in every bunch there's a few rotten ones, and I found them.  They weren't bad nurses, just rotten beings disguised as Saints...

Cunt #1:  Hazel.  A morbidly obese, very unattractive inside and out soul with a soothing tone, very soft spoken, with hints of kindness every so often.  Once upon a time she had a kind heart, but it jaded over the years and everyone saw it.  They warned me about her two faced ways, but I always tried to connect with her goodness.  I'm kind of drawn to physically ugly people, I find most of them to be quite interesting inside...she was just ugly.  Still nursed occasionally, mostly did administrative supervising.

Cunt #2:  Ellen.  A petite, very cute for her age woman, oh so sweet, and oh so kidding herself.  She hurt me the most cause I never saw it coming from her...very skilled at camouflaging her wolf with sheep's wool!  Done with actual nursing, in charge of ER staff.

Cunt #3:  Janice.  Disgusting inside and out.  Super Cunt.  Now, I of all people, know that not much can be done about body type, and I'm no prude, but I do believe in dressing appropriately for your body type, age, and job.  Suffice it to say, she needed better underwear.  She is a huge gut and gigantic tits on a tall scary stick.  (Please understand that I much rather prefer the term 'breast', but it implies beauty...nothing beautiful about cunt #3).  Way too much make up, way way way too much highly offensive perfume...especially considering that all scents are banned in the ER...she was our Department Boss...disgusting.  So hard to believe that she was a loving, caring nurse once upon a time...wonder where she went.  She was new, came from a sister hospital to replace a retiring beloved boss, and to clean things up!  Things that were already clean...as most new bosses do.  In all my jobs and mini lifetimes within this one, I never met a more widely despised person, I wanted to feel sorry for her, but she made that impossible by being who she was.

Cunt #4:  Nurse TLC.  She was new too.  She had worked there several years before me, recently came back to assume a new role in administration...I really don't know what the fuck she did, rarely came out of the office that was already under control...and then it was mainly to gossip.  I can't even remember her name, Very unlike me, so Two-faced Lying Cunt will do just fine.  The other TLC.  Her role on the day in question was totally benign, her cunt would have a starring role a few days later during one of her gossip rounds.

Cunt #5:  Genny.  I don't like to think of myself this way of course, but let's be honest...it takes one to know one.  The difference is...I'm worth it, I keep mine caged and under control, and mine only ever attacks me.  People may understand that I can be a bitch when provoked, but most have no idea about my cunt side...my cage is solid.

Angel Souls:  ALL the other nurses, doctors, medical techs, house cleaners, EMTs, cafeteria staff, my counter parts in the unit coordinator pool, registration...all of them kindly and lovingly had my back.  It did no good, but it felt good...really good.

Now, allow me to set the scene.  Lots of background information will be needed to make any sense out of a seemingly non sensical situation.  So, I'll start with the boring but oh so critical story of cunt #3.  She came to us like a bull in a china shop.  Our beautiful Catholic Hospital with a fine tuned ER never knew what hit it.  She came from a sister hospital, Lutheran, a few miles and a few values away.

 "Catholic Hospital"...it doesn't mean you have to be catholic to work there or be cared for there...it has very little to do with the actual Religion, and everything to do with their core value system.  Most of the people I worked with were not catholic...a wide variety of belief systems are represented there.  It's impressive and beautiful.  I had the pleasure of saving lives with Christians, Jews, Muslims, agnostics, Wiccan witches, Sheiks, Buddhists, and African Native religions...amazing, I learned a lot.  And I adored our Nuns...they live on the top floor of the hospital that they built, and the ones who couldn't sleep at night would come down to the ER and visit us all...such sweethearts!  One night, they brought pink carnations for those of us who were born there...so so sweet.  No, you didn't have to 'be catholic', you just had to commit to the Catholic Core Value, the one that umbrellas every other value in their mission statement...Always Do The Right Thing.  For the patients, the employees, the community.  Cunt #3 was way out of her league on this one.  Too bad so many beautiful pieces of fine china were destroyed in her wake.

The loudest way to announce your arrival and your power when you're a new boss, is to set about changing long existing departmental policies.  That was her mission whether it was in line with the hospital mission or not.  Now, this is where it gets boring and a little tedious, but my hope is that by understanding the basics of hospital policy, you'll see just how skilled I am at fucking myself over...its Coyote Medicine, the Trickster and master of Self Sabotage...and laughing at oneself.  It's very very very difficult to get fired from St. Joe's.  The whole time I was there the only people who got canned were beyond deserving, as in abusing patients and several 'no call, no shows'.  The shit people got away with amazed me, the rules are so easy to abide by, always do the right thing.  

The way to get fired, was to build up on a tiered system of "Occurrences", and the first thing she did was get in there and rearrange the tiers.  So, an occurrence is any blatant violation of hospital policy...kind of bad, like a no call, no show...or an accidental HIPPA violation...or mistreatment of co workers and so on.  Really really bad things result in a double occurrence, like a major HIPPA violation...mistreatment of patients, wrong meds or any kind of abuse...and so on.  Small offenses, like late punches, or calling in sick, or minor job mistakes, would count as a 'bit', and 5 bits would equal a whole occurrence.  Build up enough occurrences, and the process begins...first a verbal warning to get it together...if that doesn't work, then a first write up, where it becomes official and supervisor and employee agree on a beneficial course of action...if that doesn't work, then a final write up can happen, where any violation after that can result in canning.  

Occurrences were counted in three month increments...so each month, the third month back would 'roll over', and any dings you had then, would be erased.  Fairly simple, with the potential to become complicated by varying degrees of violation and administrative discretion.  Cunt #3 set to work cleaning thing up...she changed the 'whole occurrence' into 3 bits instead of 5, and increased the number of months in each roll over period...the ripple effect was bad.  It meant that she could technically fire just about the whole ER if she wanted to.  Even super cunt could tell that this was not the right to do, but she did it anyway.  She knew that she would have to do the right thing here somehow, level the playing field, she just did it in the wrong direction.  Instead of wiping the slate clean and giving everyone a fighting chance to get their records straight and just move forward under the new policies, she the put the entire department on verbal warning status, to be rolled over in six months instead of three...even the people with no bits or occurrences.  It worked out pretty good for the employees who were on the verge of unemployment already...horribly for many of us who were in the middle.  Before cunt #3 came along, administration was much more interested in catching people doing things right than doing things wrong.  They were really into praise, she was really into punishment.  

*******

Okay, that should do, now let me tell the story of Cunt #2, my immediate boss, Ellen.  

When the anniversary of my father's suicide came around that October, I aligned fully with Coyote Medicine and started fucking up...like you wouldn't believe.  For the most bizarre, random, are you fucking kidding me reasons, I was one minute late, one too many times.  Only this year, this year I finally saw with amazing clarity what I was doing and why.  This year, a little memory came out of hiding, and I finally, finally, after 27 years, knew why I just couldn't be on time.  So I went to Ellen, and explained everything...my battle with ghosts of the past, my strange relationship with Father Time, my Coyote ways... everything.  I signed a contract agreeing to enter employee counseling, accepted the technically warranted first write up, and promised to do my best.  Exact same scenario as exactly 20 years before...landed in therapy through my job, one minute late one too many times.  Only this time, instead of an innocent 19 year old, I was a seasoned 39 year old in the same fucking boat...but this time, I saw what I was doing, crystal clear...it was unbelievable.

Charlie Ryan saved my Soul.  I only got to see him for a few weeks, maybe four or five times, but more work was done in that short time than in any other therapy sessions I ever had in years past.  He was the first person to ever broaden my view enough to see that I was doing everything right, and that I absolutely had to stop being so hard on myself.  He's the only person to ever tell me, so that I could hear, that we all have the right to "Self Care with a Vengeance"...beautiful.  I owe him a huge debt of gratitude, and I will never forget him.  Even after I was fired, he wrote to me, saying that if I fell too hard, he was there for me even though he was a Joe's employee and I wasn't.  I did fall apart, and I never got to thank him properly.  I send him big soul hugs all the time.

Earlier that year, right before my battle with Vishuddah, for the first time in my life I was a 'no call, no show'...awful!  You may recall, any tiny mistake in my fucked up world is devastating...real mistakes are devastating squared.  I can barely remember what happened, but I think it was just a stupid scheduling snafu in my head...I had it in there that I was off that day.  And I'm fairly certain now that I have Mercury Rx to blame...I knew about him then, but not well enough to prepare in advance, just well enough to look back and say 'no wonder'.  Anyway, because of my good standing with all the supervisors, we got through it and everything was fine, but I did rack up a whole occurrence.  Because of the recent policy changes, Ellen had to come chat with me...make sure I stayed on track.  Since the whole department was now on verbal notice, and my roll over date wasn't until February, this mistake was costly.  This was the thing I was anxious to 'roll over', once this was gone I'd be totally in the clear, even with the few bits I had, even with the tier changes, and I'd be safe to rack up a few more if I had to.  But until then, I had to be careful.  I was making real progress until Coyote came to play in the snow one day.

My car broke so I had to walk to work...no big deal, I did it all the time when I did day shifts and it was nice out.  This just happened to coincide with our first big snow of the season and I blew it.  I wore the way wrong shoes, and didn't account for the extra time it takes to navigate a little snow.  Big, as in bigger than any so far that year...little, as in nothing compared to what we're used to by then.  On my way, I wiped out...down hard like an old lady...shit!...took a few moments to do a damage check and get up and moving again.  I hauled ass as carefully as I could, my huge bag and gigantic sour puss attitude in tow...and just started laughing.  It was ridiculous...utterly insane.  And by the way, this entire situation was insane...just as crazy and fucked up as it sounds.  The whole time I worked there up until then, everything was fine in 'time world'.  I didn't have a reputation for being late, I was mostly on time, and whenever life happened and I would be 5 or 10 minutes late, I'd call...it was never an issue...up until then.  Anyway, I found myself in desperate need of an attitude adjustment...so I did my best to turn it around and just prayed for a little miracle.  Ok Gen, gratitude is the key...what can you be grateful for?...thanks for not breaking your back just now...thanks for working legs to carry me to work...thanks for a job to walk to...thanks for Charlie and all the kind souls helping me on this crazy battlefield where I fight ghosts...and if you could please, a little help on time...maybe 30 seconds or so...I'm almost there!

I made it inside and to the time clock exactly on time, I couldn't believe it!   Got my badge, swiped it through, and just as it was processing, the fucking minute moved forward...and I was officially one minute late, by one second...one too many times, I absolutely could believe it.  I got to my desk and called Ellen.  Though she was kind and understanding, she still put me in final write up status, and I'd have to be perfect until February...no late punches...not one..."please Genny, it would kill me to have to let you go...what can I do?  I'll call you every shift...can you do it?"  "Yes Ellen, I can do it.  You don't need to call me, you're so sweet...I'm a grown woman, I'm seeing Charlie, I live two minutes away...this is ridiculous anyway, I will be on time...I promise not to fall on my way again...and I will be the first to tell you if I fuck up".  And I did it.  I stayed with Charlie, I was early for every shift...'allow pleasure and contentment to fill the soul...' Reap the rewards of a long standing battle won...did I finally conquer Trickster Coyote and Father Time?

*******

Ok, so now I think it's a good place to set the stage.  Just before Christmas, my beloved Catholic Hospital Emergency Room.  Every other hospital in the city has a policy in place that would allow for them to turn certain patients away.  Our policy was the exact opposite...always do the right thing meant no person was ever turned away from the ER for any reason.  We got all the city's rejects.  We were never not busy, especially on holidays.  They were always interesting and I was actually looking forward to spending Christmas Eve and day with my work family.  I'll never forget my first one there...an ambulance brought in a very intoxicated woman, and her complaint was "I got ran over by a reindeer and the paramedics won't share their weed!"  So much joy amongst so much pain.  That was also the year that a bunch of kids got some bad drugs at a New Years Eve concert.  One of them was a big kid, like 6'5" and full of muscles...we had to soft restrain him (arms and legs tied to the bed with soft cloth...as opposed to hardcore leather and locking restraint...as opposed to chemical restraint), he was so out of his mind and control...'sleep it off'...around 4am, the ER was calm, all patients were cared for and resting...staff was recuperating, preparing for the next wave...and then, all you heard bellowing throughout the entire department from big boy's room was, "MY FACE!!!  WHERE'S MY FUCKING FAAAAAACE?!?!?!!!!?"  I'm sure he woke up the Nuns, or we did with our totally inappropriate laughter!  

Anyway, this year was going to be a good one.  I was taking real steps to improve my life,  I decorated my little house for my Shepard and Yin Yang Meow Meows and drop by friends.  My mom and most of my friends outside of the ER were all celebrating the Holiday out of town, and I would celebrate at work.  I had gifts for all my people, plans to bake and make snacks, and a heartfelt readiness to care for the patients who found themselves in trouble for the holiday.  Michael, my sweet sweet mentally challenged cafeteria worker friend, gave me a flashing Santa Clause necklace to wear, and I was so looking forward to wearing it proudly and hugging him that Christmas Eve shift.  Yeah, "little by little, stuff was added..."  

Enter:  Cunt #1.  She called my house two days before my shift, my two days off.  I had just done a 12 hour night that day, and was asleep when the phone rang at 10am.  Safe to assume she'd be leaving a message, as our shifts ended at 7am, night staffers were in bed by then.  Back then, I still had a land line and answering machine as well as my cell, so even though I was in bed, I could still listen to the voice on the machine and see if I needed to get the phone.  I hear, "Genny, it's Hazel from Joe's...give me a call when you get this message, thank you"...so I lay there thinking, ok, I'll call when I get up, and I start to turn my brain back off.  But there's still noise...what is that?...it's the machine still...what??...oh my god, what!?...am I hearing this right?  I jumped out of bed, ran to the machine, and just died.  Instead of hanging up, cunt #1 put the office phone on speaker, and my machine kept recording for the next four minutes.  

Enter: Cunts #2, #3, and #4.  They were all in the office that day, chatting up a storm with True Colors flying all about.  The four minute conversation is appalling, heartbreaking, unprofessional times a million, somewhat shocking, and speaks volumes about who these women really are.  I didn't exploit them by giving the tape to the press (bad firings were a hot topic then, the beginning of the unemployment disaster and recession) or punish them by giving a copy to the Nuns...thought about it.  I did play it for anyone who wanted to hear it though, and everyone agreed on the disgusting nature of the recording. 

It was...TLC in the background answering phones, chatting.  Cunts #1, 2, and 3 were going back and forth between late Christmas shopping...and how to go about firing me...not one word about firing me for Christmas.  I couldn't believe it...what had I done?  Nothing.  I hadn't been late, I had just gotten a stellar review and decent raise...what happened?  And how can they be so mean?  I called another employee to see if she'd heard anything...like if I made a big job error that I didn't know about somehow...no.  I didn't know what to do...it was pretty clear by the recording that it was already a done deal, but I also had the need to find out what happened and fight for my job.  Cunt #1 was new in the office, and on the message, she asks Cunt #3 what to say when I called back..."do I just fire her over the phone?...what if she doesn't call back and just shows up for work on Wednesday?"...Cunt #2 chimes in..."yeah, she's gonna know, I mean...she's gonna know..."

I decided to take the day, think about how I wanted to handle this, build up some courage and let them sweat it out for a bit.  I called her back the next morning, cunt #2 answered.  Ellen, it's Genny, what's going on?

"Oh Genny, hi...well, we talked about this happening...you knew that if you were late again I might have to let you go...I'm afraid that's where we are now...we're going to have to end our relationship".

"I know we talked about this Ellen, and I've done everything we agreed to...I haven't been late once...I really don't understand this".

I can hear shuffling and cunt 3 in the background...looking for my late punch in their paperwork...

"Ok, here it is...you were late on this date..."

"I absolutely was not late, and I know this cause I would have come to you right away in a state of panic".

"And there would have been nothing I could have done for you..."

"You're missing the point Ellen, I've been watching my punches like a hawk, no way would I just be late and wait for you to come to me...I would have come to you not to fix it, to comply with my honest self".

Shuffle shuffle shuffle...cunt 3 looking looking looking for my egregious violation...

"Oh...ok, so...you weren't late that day...but, you missed a punch in for a meeting...?..."

Her tone of voice went from stern to mousey in a heartbeat...she couldn't believe it either...cunt #3 was on a mission, and she got caught in the middle...still could've saved me though...anyway...

I find my calendar..."Oh, you mean our unit coordinator meeting...the one I cared so much about that even though I was in the middle of a 12 hour shift, had someone take my station for an hour so I could go...that meeting?  The one that two of your piece of shit no call, no show unit coordinators couldn't be bothered to go to...that meeting Ellen?"

She got even mousier..."Yes.  You are supposed to punch out of work, punch into the meeting, punch out of the meeting and back into work in that situation.  Even though it changes nothing on your paycheck, it helps us keep track..." I could hear cunt #3 telling how to explain this to me...

"Are you serious?  I mean really Ellen, is this for real?  I'm getting fired for going to a meeting that wasn't mandatory...are you fucking kidding me?"

Cunt #2 and I went round and round...she couldn't make sense of it either, but had no choice but to stick to her guns, Cunt #3 was in her ear the whole time.  It was quite clear that this battle was futile, so I surrendered.  Waste no more energy on this Gen, you're gonna need every ounce to recover.  So I told her...fine Ellen...I get it...I'm done and I'll let you go, but I do have one more thing to share with you.  I evoked the tone and scolding power of The Great Mother and said...

"You all need to be Much More careful about how you handle your affairs in that office.  When Hazel called me and left her message for me to call back, her grave incompetence kicked in.  Instead of hanging up the phone, she put it on speaker...and my answering machine recorded every wretched word that came out of your mouths for four fucking minutes".  I could feel her heart drop, I didn't give a shit.  It had a long way to go before it met mine.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry Genny, obviously we didn't mean..."

"Oh, I know you didn't mean for it to happen but it did.  If I were you, there's no way I would have wanted me to hear that conversation, Ellen...it was disgusting and immensely  hurtful.  You should all be ashamed".

"Oh..."

"I've heard just about enough from your mouth...I'm pretty sure my witch friend will curse you all, so Merry Fucking Christmas Ellen"...and I just hung up...I was already crying and couldn't hold back anymore.   

I cried for a while, but somehow really understood, just by looking at the insane way it all went down, that it was truly a blessing disguised as a catastrophe.  I thought about fighting harder, maybe this was a lesson in standing up for myself...but landed on acceptance, it was Life moving me in a better direction...very loudly.

And then, it was Christmas.  Bah fucking humbug and boo hoo hoo.  I put on my Michael flashing Santa Clause necklace over my jammies, loved on my babies as best as I could, and then, because I had to have something, I made toast for Christmas dinner.  Pretty sure that's not what Jesus had in mind for his big birthday bash.

Enter:  75 plus Angel Souls.  They ALL gathered round me, one by one, to give me love and express their sorrow.  My girls didn't fail me for a single second...they were pissed and weren't afraid to let it show...I heard the next few days in the ER were rampant with disgruntled angels.  The Catholic Hospital Cunts managed to ruin the holidays for everyone.  Especially my Chris.  My friend, my sweet sweet Kiwi Chris, whose posh New Zealand accent had a beautiful way of sugar coating her bad ass ways...I fucking love you girl...and not just for what you did...I always loved you my soul sister, this was just pure Kiwi icing on the stale, cunty cake!  She fought my final battle for me...

Enter: Cunt #4, TLC.  Time for rounds...gossip rounds.  Things were still solemn in the ER a few days later, and I was still the hot topic of conversation.  People were really upset about everything, especially the recording.  And I guess, management decided on a 'deny everything' course of action to smooth things over.  This was her rounds mission on this day.  Deny, deny, deny.  Lie, lie, lie. 

This may have worked for them, it could possibly have been good strategy, if it wasn't so elementary, one dimensional and extremely shortsighted.  What cunts 3 and 4 didn't realize yet, and cunts 1 and 2 sure as hell did, was that in my very central position, I had forged deep and close personal relationships with probably 90% or more or their staff.  No way would a lie this obvious work for them...stupid cunts.

As TLC approached the bed zone where everyone was working, well, the recording was being talked about.  Chris was in a room with one of her patients, and heard every word.  She stopped what she was doing, about to push a syringe full of medicine, and came flying out of the patient room, needle in hand, and set about ripping her a new one...most cunts need more than just the one asshole, and my sweet Kiwi Chris was happy to make one for her.

This is one of those stories you get to hear from several viewpoints...at least four people told it to me, and I was pleasantly surprised by their consistency.  You kind of expect a wide variety of details when the same story is told by several different people, but these guys did a great job of telling the same story.  There are varying degrees of emotional outbursts at the end, but I feel confident in telling you this:

Chris:  I beg your pardon?  No, no, really...what the fuck did you just say?

By now, the entire zone's interest is peaked...they all see the steam oozing from her pores...standing there larger than life with her gloved hands and exposed needle flying about...

TLC:  I was just explaining that I was in the office that whole day and that that message thing never happened...Genny made the whole thing up you guys...we think she was just ang...

Chris:  Like hell she did you lying bitch!  I heard every horrible word and held her as she sobbed!  Your shrill voice is in the background talking on a personal call for most of it so how the fuck would you know anything?  You sure chimed in for the second half though..."wouldn't want to be one of THOSE people"!  (Referring to late Christmas shoppers, not the kind of cunt it takes to fire a beloved employee on Christmas).  

TLC:  Um, well, I was just trying...

Chris:  Oh we all know what you were tying to do.  ...and then, she laid out the entire conversation for everyone to hear the message that broke our hearts...

You guys want to know what these bitches were saying?  They were all oh so terribly worried about all the good Christmas stuff being sold out already, and how stressful late shopping is, and how you don't want to be one of those people...and oh...how should we fire Genny...you cunts didn't give a shit about being that kind of person...they didn't know if she would call, or just come to work...what should we do?...what time are you heading to the mall?...can I catch a ride?...what if she just shows up?...she's gonna know...it was disgusting!  You guys want to know what they were gonna do to her?

I was told you could hear a pin drop in that moment...poor Chris, she was so upset...but she had everyone's full attention.

They had it all planned out.  If she called, they were going to fire her over the fucking phone!  If she didn't, they were going to let her punch in, on Christmas Eve, work for two hours, and then pull her off the floor and fire her right then!  Oh my god, what is WRONG with you?  You better go talk to Jesus you two faced lying bitch!  Slither on back to your desk now and let us take care of our patients.  And you should probably never speak to me again.

And she stared her down, dripping syringe still in hand ready to push (she had to get a new one cause by then it was no longer full...or sterile), until Cunt #4 walked away in Shame.  I heard it was quite the scene...oh to be a fly on the wall for that one!  Always do the right thing...thanks Kiwi.  I heard...there was a moment of stunned silence, followed by varying degrees of applause...such a dramatic scene is nothing to these fine people in the ER, I'm sure they all went back to the patients at hand.

This is how Chris told it...

"Oh my god pretty girl, I don't know what happened, I fucking lost my mind!  I was just about to push some meds and I heard TLC saying something about you lying about the message and I just lost it...I didn't even say anything to my guy, I just flew out of his room and set the record straight.  That lying bitch was trying to tell us that you made up the story about the message...that it never happened...I said like hell it didn't or something like that and told everyone that I heard the whole fucking thing and it broke my fucking heart.  Two faced fucking lying cunt!   Guess it took a while...I had to dump my drugs and order a whole new vile...ugh she made me so mad!  I think I told her she better not ever talk to me again...My poor patient!  I started to say how sorry I was and he was just cracking up...said it was the best thing that ever happened to him...oh my god that ER!"

It sounded beautiful coming out of her beautiful mouth shrouded in her beautiful posh New Zealand accent...makes me laugh every time.  Again, THANK YOU my sweet beautiful Scorpio soul sister Kiwi Chris...for giving TLC her nickname, but for mine most of all.  It brings tears of overflowing love to my eyes every time I remember you calling me 'pretty girl'...it's just the sweetest thing.  We've lost touch, a little sad but not too much...I know you feel me sending you love drops all the time, cause I feel you sending them right back...until we meet again my love, you are a super hero.

I am no...pretty girl.  She was referring to my Soul.  A lifetime of damages shows.  End scene.

That year, we all had a reason or several to say, "Fuck 2008!  Bring on '09!"  We partied hard...rang in the new year with gusto.  No one was left out, not even the ones who were working.  Some are probably still there and it would be easy to figure out who was working that New Years Eve, and I'd probably have to publicly apologize to the Nuns, so I'll have to censor my story...they had a great night, helped us have an even greater night, they were all on our side, and every single one of them did the right thing.