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| A tough subject |  | ||
| Re: Re: Deprogrammed -- PRC | Top of thread | Post Reply | Forum |
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This whole issue of kidnapping and deprogramming is still a tough subject to reconcile for me. I speak from personal experience, having been grabbed 6 weeks before HJ '79 in Kissimmee, Fla. Then spending 5 weeks under lock and key, being verbally harassed and ridiculed for my beliefs. The agent was a protege of Ted Patrick, Joseph Alexander along with his gang of mercenaries, a sizable organization and well funded. I wont go in to further details, but what has remained throughout the years is the psychological fallout from that event. As a young idealized spiritualist, it never occurred to me that the weight of that travesty would affect me for the next 35 years. Let me explain. For many years as an ashram premie, life was exciting, inspired, rewarding, fulfilling and held immeasurable promise. Practicing knowledge was beyond lifestyle it was a pursuit of peace and beauty. But I never felt caged or corralled by our mini religion, it just felt right to be involved. I could come and go with other interests or associations but nothing like a do-or-die dogma. Then I endured the above mentioned ordeal. I survived in tact. My independence was not compromised, I was not dissuaded to leave, I maintained my dignity and returned to life with GMJ (three days before the festival). I had been released thinking they had successfully deprogrammed me, somehow able to bluff through many layers of scrutiny. But things were never the same again after that. At first I was relieved and thrilled to have beaten the odds. I felt elated and empowered. Then little by little the stress of it all started to take its toll. I became withdrawn and moody, critical of premies around me, angry and deeply agitated by the religiosity around me. And also pessimistic about Rawat himself. I had invested so much into this pseudo-reality and now it was disintegrating before my eyes. The reality was that if my parents had not hired these goons, I probably would have drifted out of the cult just by virtue of growing older and the desire to explore the world. But the fallout...was really more like a backfire. From that time forward I clung to my convictions more than ever, determined to never again be challenged or confronted that way again. I would not be budged or coerced into anything that I didn't trust. But now I didn't trust Maharaji anymore either. For all of his Perfectness, he had allowed a world of hurt and darkness to invade my life. And the bottom line was that he didn't even care to offer the victims of kidnapping any form of solace, psychological counselling, legal advice, and scant physical protection. The statistics were that over 50% of failed first attempts were followed by a second or third attempt. This created a situation of constant hypervigilance, and never feeling safe. A nightmarish anxiety ridden daily routine, and precursor to later psychological distress. I think that one reason Rawat closed the ashrams was because of things like this. His cute little Indian melodrama was not playing well with educated western audiences and the conflict was having painful consequences in the lives of every day premies. We were the ones absorbing the dissonance and making excuses for him constantly. Eventually I was able to break free and looking back, I am amazed that I gave him so much authority and power over my intellect, my heart, my instincts, and my innocence. We were so much more holy than he ever was. sorry ass excuse for a human being It is worthwhile to note that Ted Patrick and Joe Alexander were sued into utter pennilessness for their deeds. Methods that I can only characterize as barbaric, a normal backlash against fear of the unknown I guess. It was a time of Jim Jones and Charles Manson after all.
Modified by Manincar at Thu, Nov 17, 2016, 20:51:29 |
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