well yes I think we all pretty much had a similar delusion. and I could not agree more with you, even with the samadhi thing, it didn't deliver as promised.
so the promise was, well - peace love wisdom god consciousness bliss and fulfilment of your life - pretty much covers it I think.
why did we fall for it? why was it so easily accepted as a possibility, what instinct in us was involved. why was the idea of god so easily accepted.
So when I started writing I had a story I had ideas, I thought I knew where I was going but it rapidly shifted and what came bursting out was a romance. It was simply the only way I could bear to write it and after a while I noticed how many cliches came up and I liked them so much.
and so I think there's this instinct. maybe it's something like those impulses that start the beat of your heart. (there are a small number of larger ones and it is one of those that sets off the wave. and it is the same one until it dies and then one of the other large ones takes it's place.) Or maybe it's more simple than that, and it is only one and that is the love that gives your life definition.
or both - like a bag of marbles, one extra large marble, a handful of larger ones and the rest smaller.
