As Susan says, back in the day, it was them and us, premies and non-premies (and poor aspirants who had to wait and perform devotional stunts sometimes for years before they were let in from the cold). I could work up a theory that all spiritual practises have evolved simply to mark out one tribe from another, but there's no need for such grandiosity. There are other tribes out there. Find one that suits, or rather, do what you really want to do, and then look who else happens to be doing that.
I went sailing for my own romantic notions, and found myself in anchorages having sundowners with a very mixed and intriguing crowd. I'd found another tribe, and the practises and thinking of the premie tribe started falling into disuse, only occasionally contemplated.
I think it's doing things with other people that deepens the bonds. Sure, the bonds we made in our youth were all deep and meaningful, and I doubt they can be replicated by yakking with your neighbour over the fence. But if you and your neighbour did a thing - anything you fancy - a business, a book, a journey, whatever - I think you'd find those newer friendships deepening. My best friends are the ones I shared adventures with.
