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yes I really don't understand it. but there is a marked consistency of reporting by us ex-premies that our creativity was stifled. There was no obvious reason for it and we were clearly a creative bunch and yet boom out the window it goes early on. Not to re-emerge until we exit the cult. it's like a vital chip was removed from the main frame. before the cult I was at art college studying ceramics. after cult all of a sudden I knew what I wanted to do - take my clay seriously and that's what I did. during cult no thought of clay at all, it was just thanks to a neighbour who put it in my hands that I was working with it at all.
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